I’m in a bad mood. Hairdressors do that to me. But at least I learned from the experience:
1. Never get your hair cut if you’re even remotely happy with its present state. The thought “I might get a trim to make it look a little more stylish” is cosmetically one of the most dangerous thoughts one can have. This is for 3 reasons:
a) to hairdressors, there is no such thing as a trim – it’s all or nothing, baby.
b) it’s a matter of percentages. Only a fraction of new haircutees are happy with their cuts. A still smaller fraction are actually improvements on the previous cut – and in almost all of these cases, it was because the previous cut was so horrendous. The simple maths of it is that while-ever you are happy with your current cut, the chances of an improvement are approximately zero. (This is why, even to this day, evolutionary theorists struggle to explain the existance of hairdressing behaviour.)
c) apparently, there is no communication between the worlds of ‘female hairdressors’ and ‘men’s fashion’
2. In the vocabulary of hairdressors, the phrases ‘a bit shorter’, ‘not too short’, ‘medium’, ‘just a bit off’, and ‘keep it long’ all mean the same thing: ‘ridiculously short’.
3. Don’t book a haircut after a trip to the dentist. Incredibly, the awkward conversations in the mirror are not improved by having half your face paralysed and sounding like you’ve just suffered a stroke.
4. Despite having completed tertiary studies in the hair-care area, practicing for 9 hours a day, and seeing hundreds of different heads a month; hair-dressors are unable to ‘style’ hair on their own and need strict, precise, and detailed descriptions of exactly the style you want – which is ok, because you have spent the last month researching what style suits your hair type, length, colour, and head shape… right? Once again, the thought “She’s a professional… she’ll know what to do” has shocking consequences. Avoid making this mistake at all costs.
5) A bad haircut isn’t the end of the world. No, really, it isn’t. Except for these guys.
It’s a scary world. Good luck.
(Photo, thankfully, is not of me.)
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