Sometimes Dad and I are funny.

We were talking about how, in theory, our church believes God gives gifts of prophecy, but, since it takes weeks and weeks just to get an announcement made, effectively there is no way a gift would ever reach the church. [Pause to allow reflective readers to notice this in their own church and consider the implications.          That's long enough.]

We decided we need a Prophecy Hotline (1800-PROPHECY) so people can have their prophecy tested. Of course, much of this could be automated:
“Thank you for calling 1800-Prophecy. All our Discerners are busy right now, your prophecy has been placed in a queue – please hold.”

Christian music plays for the longest time bearable (about 8 bars), then:

“Thank you for waiting. Your prophecy is important to us. A Discerner will be with you shortly.”

Repeat ad infinitum, or forward call to Telstra (whichever is quicker).